Scorched by the Fire
by goddessofflame07
Summary: BV This is the sequel to I GIve, You Take. This is Vegeta's perspective on things. Some song lyrics as well but they are well suited for the story.


A/N: This is a sequel to I Give, You Take. This was suggested a reviewer and I really liked the idea of giving Veggie a chance to speak his thoughts on the fling that turned into an awkward relationship. Again this will be no A/U no OOC just what I think is most likely to have happened in this case. This is for you Evilsaint243. By the way the lyrics in this fic are just for back drop and effect. Veggies not really saying them.  
  
Scorched by the Fire  
  
I saw you come onto the balcony that night. I wanted to tell you to go away, but I didn't. I watched as you looked out into the night sky; the moonlight lit up your face. You looked almost ethereal as the soft breeze played with your hair. You were upset, I didn't ask why. I knew the human had insulted you in some way. A part of me wanted to tell you to leave the pathetic fool, he wasn't worthy of your affection. I have always thought of you as an equal to myself. Your intelligence has gained my respect; you are perhaps the most intelligent mind on this mud-ball of a planet. You turned to look at me and I saw in your eyes what I have always felt. Loneliness.  
  
I sat on the iron rail of the balcony's edge, you walked to me. There was no hesitance in your steps, just slow resistance. You wanted to deny the pull between us at that moment, so did I. You stood before me in your short robe that really covered very little. I reached out and pulled the tie so I could see you better. You didn't stop me, you should have. I parted the robe and I watched it slip from your shoulders. Your nakedness surprised me; you didn't know I was out there that night did you? Or maybe you did. I stood and touched your hip with my fingertips. I felt you shiver slightly and I could smell your arousal. You should have walked away but you didn't.  
  
I remember picking up your slight frame and flying us to that place by the unused storage house. I remember laying you down on the soft grass. I stripped the blue silk pants you gave me from my body. I kneeled and pulled your legs apart to accommodate me better. I didn't even bother to make sure you were ready for me. I only made sure you were willing as I buried myself in your body. I stilled my movements when I heard you cry out in pain. I didn't want to hurt you. I only wanted a distraction from my failure. I didn't want to touch you except for what I was doing. I didn't want you to participate and I didn't want to give you pleasure. I hated you when you moved to meet my body. I hated that you were enjoying it; I just wanted you to lay there and let me have my way.  
  
Bury Me Softly In This Womb  
  
I remember the sounds too. I remember your moans and the way my name sounded when you whispered it. You were breathless, and you ached for release. I could see it in your eyes as you silently pleaded for me to give it to you. I hated you even more for making me give you that.  
  
I Give This Part of Me for You  
  
I gave in, I reached between us and I touched you. I remember the way your back arched and the way your nails dug into my back. I remember the way you buried your head in my neck as you tried to muffle your cries of ecstasy. More than anything I remember the way you felt inside as you took your pleasure and pushed me over the edge. That had turned into more than it ever should have.  
  
Sand Rains Down And Here I Sit Holding Rare Flowers In A Tomb.....In Bloom  
  
That was how it started, you are right about that. We had a good arrangement even though I had never meant for there to be an arrangement. I had only meant for it to be a one time lapse in judgment. I used you, I used you for only one reason. I wanted some kind of way to relieve my frustration. I know you used me to ease your loneliness; it wasn't just for your need of physical release. You lie to yourself and to me when you give that as your sole reason for our liaison.  
  
Down In A Hole And I Don't Know If I Can Be Saved See My Heart I Decorate It Like A Grave You Don't Understand Who They Thought I Was Supposed To Be Look At Me Now A Man Who Won't Let Himself Be  
  
You did change our arrangement. You came to where I trained. You interrupted everything. Yes I wanted you that day. I wanted you the moment you stepped into the gravity chamber. Even before you stripped your body of clothing I wanted you. I was very angry with you that day. I hated you even more for changing everything. I will admit that knowing you couldn't wait made me want you more. When you kissed me I wanted to punish you for making it so personal. I wanted to show you the fire that raged within me, and yet I did want to know you wanted more.  
  
Down In A Hole, Losin' My Soul Down In A Hole, Losin' Control I'd Like To Fly But My Wings Have Been So Denied  
  
Down In A Hole And They've Put All The Stones In Their Place I've Eaten The Sun So My Tongue Has Been Burned Of The Taste I Have Been Guilty Of Kicking Myself In The Teeth I Will Speak No More Of My Feelings Beneath  
  
After that I gorged myself on you. I gave you everything you wanted and in turn you showed me selflessness. The sex had indeed turned into more than that and I knew it. I knew you were in love with me and a part of me knew that you would regret it. You were playing with fire woman you should have known it. You should have known that I will never be what you want. My training did suffer; I skipped too many days just so I could fulfill my lust for your body.  
  
Oh I Want To Be Inside Of You  
  
Down In A Hole, Losin' My Soul Down In A Hole, Feelin' So Small Down In A Hole, Losin' My Soul Down In A Hole, Out Of Control  
  
I'd Like To Fly But My Wings Have Been So Denied  
  
Yes we fought. You started as many of those fights as I had. I did insult you. I purposely hurt you. I wanted you to hate me. I deserved your hate, not your love. I don't know how to love, I never have. You are worthy of much more than what little affection I can give you. To convince you of this I tried to make you see what I am. What I will always be. In spite of everything I didn't mean to end all our fights by using you physically. I know that made you hate me even more. I did to you what has been done to me so many times. I took your pride, I stepped on it and then I threw it back in your face. I didn't want you to experience that but I did it anyway and I took pleasure in it.  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
When you came to me with your accusations a part of me wanted to laugh at you. I wanted to rub it in your face that should have known. You may not have much physical strength but your mind is razor sharp. You saw through me and I do admire that you could see what I was trying to do. When I saw your tears a part of me was disgusted by them, that is until I saw that they made you even angrier. I too know what helplessness feels like.  
  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show they never go away Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
  
Some of your words caught me off guard. Some of them made me feel something I haven't ever felt before. Regret. Yes don't look so surprised yourself, I don't regret my actions. I regret that it had to be you involved. I never meant for the first time to even happen. I broke you during that time. I took the spirit that I had come to enjoy and I broke it. Why did you let me Bulma, why did you ever let me come near you?  
  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
I have done many things in my life. I have killed, destroyed, and terrorized; but mostly I have failed. I failed when Kakarott killed Frieza. I failed when that boy from the future killed Frieza again. I failed when Kakarott ascended before I could. I failed you. I failed to protect you from myself; I knew I would break you. I am not so arrogant as to think that you will forever pine for me. Your words prove that, you will rise once more. You are a fool if you love me still. You know that I will not change. I gave you all that I could give the night I left. You mistake it for deception, it wasn't.  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so there'd never be a past  
  
I remember looking into your eyes that night. I saw something I... Something I cannot explain. Something that will haunt me until the day I die. I saw a purity in you that have never encountered before. I didn't want to touch you then with my hands, I was dirty. My hands are covered with more blood than you'll ever know. I didn't want to taint you, but you drew me still. What is that human saying you used to tell me? A moth to a flame? Yes that would describe it. That was the only time I gave you anything of myself. That night, that memory of you is burned in my mind. The months I was gone that memory haunted my dreams. Not Frieza, not Kakarott, and not the boy from the future, only you.  
  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
The memory of kissing you and pulling you against my body still drives me insane. The memory of your body shivering as I touched you makes me want you still. The way your face looked as you lay underneath me. I remember the way you pulled me to you, the way your legs wrapped around my waist as I pushed myself into your body. I was lost in you; I wasn't in control that night. The way you felt made me crazy and yet a part of me wanted you to know how I felt. You call it deception; I am not capable of deception to that degree. I am not that good at it.  
  
I remember the way your hands felt on my back as they scraped across the scar where my tail had once been. I tried to be gentle; I tried not to hurt you. You made me lose control that night. It is humorous that all you wanted to know was the power you held over me. All I wanted was to give you something of myself. The sight of you in the throes of such pleasure was a sight to see. You pushed me over the edge with your voice in my ear and your fingers digging into my back. I remember you falling asleep in my arms, as I thought of leaving.  
  
When I left I was running away. It was easier to run away. I needed to be away, to train, to concentrate, but mostly I needed to be alone.  
  
Just washing it aside All of the helplessness inside Pretending I don't feel misplaced It's so much simpler than change  
  
I didn't know about the child. If I had known I don't truly know if that would have changed my actions. I do know this, I will not let the child grow up without a father the way I did. I am not going to coddle and ruin the child the way Kakarott did with his but I will be there if you wish.  
  
I cannot change. I will stay away from you if that is what you want. We should not make anymore arrangements. We have done enough to each other; we don't need to complicate things further. As I sit here writing this in the pages you have left empty I know that you will raise a child just fine without my assistance. It is quite evident now that boy from the future is our son. It should have been as clear as day the moment I saw his hair. Ridiculous color. Nevertheless if it is your wish, I will train the boy. You should understand things better now. If there was anyone worth changing for it would have been you. Puny human that you are. But I cannot change.  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
It's easier to run If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made It's easier to go If I could change I would take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
She sat there looking at the neat bold script on the page. Things were different now. She had definitely misinterpreted some things. She felt the tears slide down her cheek as she stared into the rain. She smiled then as she stood and walked back into her bedroom. She looked at the book one last time before tossing it into the fireplace; he would want it that way. She watched thoughtfully as the book burned. She could feel his presence, his intense gaze upon her back. She turned and looked at him. Surprise lit her face as she stood looking back at him. He walked toward her, his hair blazed golden as his teal eyes bore into hers. When he was close enough she reached up and pulled his face down for a kiss. He was surprised at first but he gave in after a few seconds. She heard herself whisper his name as she looked at him in awe.  
  
A/N: Okay I know not as much of the lemony goodness but hey it was kind of a serious one. In this I really tried to convey Veggies contradictions, like 'I love you but I hate you' kind of thing. Obviously Veggie just doesn't understand his feelings huh. Hoped you liked it and review and let me know what you think. By the way it was supposed to kind of leave you hanging. I know, I suck yea yea. 


End file.
